I started testosterone last Tuesday (cruddy day generally, but yay for T anyway). There haven’t been many changes yet, but it’s still been so nice. It’s been sort of a confirmation of diagnosis by treatment, and I’ve been feeling gender euphoric. I feel like I’m moving in the right direction, and presenting myself in a masculine way feels very nice, even rather nicer than it did pre-T. I’m feeling more and more like I fit in my own skin, whereas before I sort of felt like I was squashing myself into something that didn’t fit right. It’s also made me more impatient to come out and be authentic about it. Before it felt like coming out was an unpleasant chore, but now it seems more like a small and surmountable obstacle to being myself. Will I still wait until my voice drops to come out? Maybe, or I might get joyfully impatient and spill the beans ahead of that plan. I find myself caring less about folks’ impressions of my news, it’s still good news to me.
Some changes so far:
- lower range of my singing voice is slightly lower (not hugely), and it feels more comfortable to be in that range. I’ve been keeping my voice in practice by singing along with barbershop quartet, and singing along with the female bass part feels more homey.
- My speaking voice (realistically) is just about the same. It does feel chestier when I let it fall down lower, and it’s comfortable to let it sit a bit lower. Even though my speaking pitch is mostly the same, I feel more confident when I’m trying to pass, and it’s helped my voice dysphoria.
- Some muscle growth. I’ve worked out a couple times since starting T, once lifting and once bouldering with Fergus, and it’s early (and I’m not going for “hey, get swole, bro”), but there is a perceptible difference in my arms and shoulders.